this fametracker site looks pretty good allround. mmm comparisons of images in the public mind.
eg, one of the regular readings: For years, we've measured the equivalent worth of celebrities against their famous brethren and, er, sistren. But then we got to wondering: how would celebrities fare in head-to-head battles with actual useful, everyday objects? This revealed to us a whole new and finely calibrated method by which we can measure celebrity relevance -- a method we like to call Celebrity vs. Thing.
eg, Angelina Jolie Vs. Bottled Water Okay, the first thing we have to acknowledge is that the existence of Angelina Jolie has saved us all countless hours of our lives, if only because she definitively eliminates the need to debate the question: who is the sexiest woman alive? Or most beautiful, hottest, most alluring, what have you. Sure,the Peoples will still carry on this now pointless argument, throwing out their Eva Longorias (what?) and Julia Robertses (yeah, right!), as though this topic were still open for discussion. But, really, case closed.
Arguing for the supreme sexiness of Eva Longoria in the lifetime of Angelina Jolie is like being a vociferous creationist on the day that a particularly sharp monkey uses an abacus, writes a sonnet, and finally masters the nuances of written Latin. A tough position.
kinds agree. Catherine Zeta-Jones? no. - but: Uma Thurman. just as cool. and maybe more varied. Jolie is always winking cool. at least a little wicked. tough. Uma can seem that way, right, but also friendly. but ok, Jolie's always being wicked cool, maybe that does make for sexiest. Gia.
wow it just keeps coming: Because Angelina Jolie is not sexy, exactly; she's more like what an alien race might concoct from scratch, but, being an alien race, and not really understanding the usual limitations of humanity, they go a little overboard: the lips, the curves, the smoldering glance. Like, nice try, alien race, but let's get real.
Also remember this: the woman can act. Granted, the two Tomb Raider films put us in mind of that hoary old saying. How does it go? Fool us once, shame on us; fool us twice, this movie sucks even worse than the first one.
...Brad Pitt as one-half of a couple in which, for once, he's the one who makes you think, You know, maybe you're just not hot enough for her.
The Case For Bottled Water: What are you going to do? Drink from the tap? When's the last time you drew a cold glass of water in the kitchen sink? Sure, it may have been yesterday, in which case we can render a decision in this battle right now.
...We're here to decide which we could more easily live without -- bottled water or Angelina Jolie. Now, you might say, what's one movie star, more or less? Isn't Jennifer Connelly pretty hot? And is Jolie really worth going back to the days of drinking dirty, dirty water from the tap? Oh, yes, friend. Yes, she is.
Don't underestimate the value of a plain-spoken, entertaining, child-aiding, actually talented, slightly crazed, incredibly hot movie star. Hell, we'll come and fill a hundred tiny bottles with tap water and stick them in your fridge overnight if that will make you feel better. You'll never have to know.
Winner: Angelina Jolie
Friday, September 9, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Archive
-
►
2019
(8)
- October 2019 (1)
- January 2019 (7)
-
►
2018
(11)
- December 2018 (1)
- November 2018 (1)
- October 2018 (2)
- May 2018 (4)
- March 2018 (3)
-
►
2017
(20)
- November 2017 (2)
- October 2017 (3)
- September 2017 (2)
- August 2017 (2)
- July 2017 (5)
- June 2017 (2)
- May 2017 (1)
- January 2017 (3)
-
►
2016
(17)
- December 2016 (1)
- October 2016 (2)
- September 2016 (4)
- June 2016 (1)
- May 2016 (3)
- April 2016 (5)
- February 2016 (1)
-
►
2015
(44)
- December 2015 (3)
- October 2015 (2)
- September 2015 (6)
- July 2015 (2)
- June 2015 (2)
- May 2015 (2)
- April 2015 (3)
- March 2015 (17)
- January 2015 (7)
-
►
2014
(61)
- December 2014 (6)
- November 2014 (4)
- October 2014 (4)
- September 2014 (4)
- August 2014 (11)
- July 2014 (1)
- June 2014 (4)
- May 2014 (18)
- April 2014 (9)
-
►
2013
(13)
- December 2013 (3)
- August 2013 (2)
- July 2013 (2)
- March 2013 (4)
- January 2013 (2)
-
►
2012
(26)
- December 2012 (3)
- October 2012 (1)
- August 2012 (2)
- July 2012 (4)
- June 2012 (2)
- May 2012 (2)
- April 2012 (6)
- March 2012 (1)
- February 2012 (4)
- January 2012 (1)
-
►
2011
(45)
- December 2011 (1)
- November 2011 (1)
- October 2011 (3)
- September 2011 (8)
- August 2011 (3)
- July 2011 (3)
- June 2011 (1)
- May 2011 (6)
- April 2011 (11)
- March 2011 (3)
- February 2011 (3)
- January 2011 (2)
-
►
2010
(60)
- December 2010 (1)
- November 2010 (2)
- October 2010 (4)
- September 2010 (8)
- August 2010 (5)
- June 2010 (3)
- May 2010 (18)
- April 2010 (4)
- March 2010 (2)
- February 2010 (7)
- January 2010 (6)
-
►
2009
(113)
- December 2009 (4)
- October 2009 (8)
- September 2009 (7)
- August 2009 (11)
- July 2009 (5)
- June 2009 (10)
- May 2009 (13)
- April 2009 (6)
- March 2009 (26)
- February 2009 (7)
- January 2009 (16)
-
►
2008
(275)
- December 2008 (4)
- November 2008 (4)
- October 2008 (57)
- September 2008 (24)
- August 2008 (25)
- July 2008 (15)
- June 2008 (16)
- May 2008 (23)
- April 2008 (35)
- March 2008 (18)
- February 2008 (31)
- January 2008 (23)
-
►
2007
(584)
- December 2007 (13)
- November 2007 (29)
- October 2007 (23)
- September 2007 (20)
- August 2007 (55)
- July 2007 (72)
- June 2007 (90)
- May 2007 (67)
- April 2007 (46)
- March 2007 (75)
- February 2007 (72)
- January 2007 (22)
-
►
2006
(1064)
- December 2006 (31)
- November 2006 (77)
- October 2006 (83)
- September 2006 (179)
- August 2006 (64)
- July 2006 (59)
- June 2006 (43)
- May 2006 (117)
- April 2006 (79)
- March 2006 (125)
- February 2006 (96)
- January 2006 (111)
-
▼
2005
(202)
- December 2005 (38)
- November 2005 (36)
- October 2005 (46)
- September 2005 (40)
- August 2005 (34)
- July 2005 (8)
No comments:
Post a Comment