Another winter day, my love, when you are older,
That is, when we're both older (half-bolder and half-colder), but I'm younger now - history my dear friend

Maybe you'll walk back down here to this place —
If whose precise location trafficky years erase

From memory, no matter, since to it the sun reminds - what - shakespeare - just, iambic - no 3syll feet? syntax(,no matter,)
Blazes a narrow path each cloudless day that's done —

And see how I could come once more to recognize
This world's whole hoard one evening in your filling eyes.

nicely unpretty word 'hoard'
reminds much.. you will come to such sights colder - (margaret)

this is really good
precise - 'trafficky' - narrow. and see sun recognize eyes filling world's
---this I trust---
exact. rhythm. syntax. intended, meaning: the sun blazes a path to (it-) this place.
(am unsure: on cloudless days - each day that's done -? int.. over? but the sun blazes not when the day is done- is it: the day is done by..? each cloudless day that happens. well yes to rhyme with sun but trust, my trust, is also means it, and I like it. not: but that would be a rhyme and not a solution - carlos drummon adrade -go forth be gauche - seven sided poem - other translation: it would go into verse much faster...)

rw: The girl in any of us leans a little nearer (Poems.com)

Stephen Yenser - Blue Guide - Copyright © 2006 The University of Chicago Press

Tidepools: La Jolla
Quick, mystic — this is the world's profoundest mirror.The girl in any of us leans a little nearer.
You lean to it this evening, Helen Emily,Holding my hand, to glimpse us both, though dreamily,
As like your breath that fogs my morning shaving glassIt dries up seaward, leaving sea moss, black tape grass,
Scary weeds — also a puckered seam of seaspray,A pinch of which you put your lips to, then spin away —
Barefoot, braid swinging — from a broken breaker, your shrieksBringing a cloud wisp's blush-brushed color to your cheeks,
Then kneel again to moons and trumpets, scallops, dollars,And mermaid fans and purses, anemones and tiny stars.
Another winter day, my love, when you are older