ok! write down yr sensibility. I'm in yr hospice prediktin yr deaths.
react to things. make this blog public. link it to others.
ask for suggestns, what to do with myself. how.

uncompromising. original. sensibility. gift. spirit. sad sad sad. all the gifts and all the needs. -bespalloff. ich buch. I love you I love you I love you. No. these are what I am thinking: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I saw you. We'll go. Goodnight.

why would I write it out? bcs that's an activity. not compelling is it? no it's not compelling. how do I feel toward voice? N Ginzburg. Adam Phillips. interior voice. I want someone around. but in a book, am I grateful to find it? I don't know. I put forth "I like this" it was good to have something to like. bcs you have to have sth to like. (have to have a moral code, I'm against the burning of witches). all my associations, all of what it means to me.

more compelling: stillness. a tension in chest, around heart. a physical tension. attend to it. let it happen. as if something on the other side of it, after it happens?
isn't this a condition someone has seen in others? what do you do for it? what is to do?

what I say No to: the interview where I say that I am doing well now, best I have ever been. I don't believe it. at least, it will not come for me. (I do not think they will sing for me.)