what is philosophy? -search for truth.~eh. disclosing unconcealment, ok. -answers "what shld I do?" ~ok, if one discovers an answer. I like H bcs I want philosophy as thinking ~ questioning ~ living in the question.
oh: the world is all that is the case: I still like that.

hearing this conversation: Hegel's project is presuppositionless knowledge. After the holocaust, how can there be any essential humanity? Something happened and nothing happened. assertion. assertion.
I sort of don't know what they're talking about. but I do not experience that as not-knowing, I experience it as understanding more than them. which has some truth to it but ought I to see how it also has a lot of falsehood? I have nothing to say to you to assert what I understand, so what do I know? I am dismissive.

I do not believe in methodology? whenever someone says something about training, knowing the methodologies, I think: whatever. I do, don't I? I think it's all nothing. how can I think it is all nothing?
I have this vest pocket ceo book so that I can open to one of its pages of Decision Making Tools For Executives and see that there is a decision making tool, not nothing. what is it? I still come away thinking it's nothing.

methodology, craft. nothing.
you've got nothing to teach me.

what have I learned? I learned how to use my thumb to press down on the key so I can open the pelican door with one hand, the other arm bracing a full box against the wall. that is something I did not know, and then did know.
I think there is a lot I could learn like that ~ "affective learning" ~ share with me your sense of a world and how you relate and move within it, and I will learn, I will find myself able.

but school, what can you tell me? stories, yes. facts, yes. history. what other people have said, yes. acquaintance-knowledge. kennen. not weissen. but even mere acquaintance with concepts, intellectual methods, tools? skills? have I ever learned one? not known and then known.

you ask a question and then you answer it.
[cadence: first you abandon someone and then someone abandons you.]
what does this book say? you do not know and then you read it and then you know, you can answer: this book says such & such.

~ books for me mostly occasions to remark interiority. so sad, why so sad? Calasso, N Ginzburg, TS E, dancer to god. what I love makes me so sad. why do I say I love it? I think that is not true. I recognized it, it made me sad, I was concerned for it as a keepsake. "what is love, what did it get me? whoever thought of love is no friend of mine."
better to love the television shows, or a book read like I watch a show, to be involved in someone else's world. involved. learning.
rather than: to say "yes, that is my." my. my.
Proust. Dostoevsky (Alyoshka, Ivan, Demetri). aren't these characters I involve myself with? but no, reading is inward for me, not expansive? a voice in my head. cadence of thoughts. associations. I think this is what is my, what I love, but it is so sad. why? dead end. infinite and a dead end.