az- The Post-Birthday World: A Novel by L Shriver | p425
Over the course of those two days Ramsey assembled a veritable retrospective of Irina's transgressions in the post-birthday world: arranging "appointment TV to ogle Lawrence on the news, "declaring her love for Anorak Man" in front of her mother, "running him down" to other players in Preston--all the way back to You should have packed a bag.


I like that. I like near all about Ramsey, resembles TVZ. So to me, no contest, the life in which she kisses Ramsey is preferable. even with all the rows.
so I disagree with Irina's book in that life, Frame Match, and with the point of view of the novel, that either choice leads to both good and bad, that it does not matter much which way you go. No, even if the two paths are hardly different at the outset, even if 'the passing there / Had worn them really about the same', whichever you happen to choose may well later seem to have 'made all the difference.' You do not end up sitting over coffee with the same person, having the same feelings, either way. well maybe you do, maybe you don't.
there is real regret. regret, not just sitting in the chair in your old flat, visiting your former self, but violently sorry that you turned away from that. the kid in Frame Match may regret for the rest of his life that he gave up snooker, and no, he would not certainly have regretted just as much that he forsook school for snooker.
and in Irina's other book, Ivan & the Terribles, Ivan 'feels terrible' both after he sees his best friend hurt by how quickly he was replaced and later when he himself is replaced. Irina says she is showing that both betraying and being betrayed feel terrible, one is not clearly worse than the other. but to this novel, I say bullocks, being betrayed ("five years" Lawrence has been seeing another woman. and he never kisses Irina!) feels way worse. Betraying may feel terrible too - yes Irina feels sad and like a lesser person having left Lawrence - but if you betrayed 'everything' for 'everything plus something more' than you now have, besides your sadness, that everything and something more. She has Ramsey who adores her actually more devotedly than Lawrence and loves to kiss her.
No, being left usually feels worse than leaving. You leave for somewhere else. Being left, you are bereft.
I enjoyed most of Ramsey's speaking. but otherwise the tone of the novel - more prosaic than I like. adult, sane. reflective - but not on or aware of any real edge. civilized. tone gets so much in my thoughts. it's here. this one was not all that welcome.