okay if I cannot have enthusiasm for ~ books?

and so maybe, could it be okay?
if I am not all that.  what?  the current example, the book ctr:  knowing about.  all the books.  ~ well, my concern is less about not-knowing and more about not-caring  ---- innit?   about being *supposed* to have favorites.  opinions.

do I not have opinions? but of course I do. so what is it I mean when say or fear that I will not have, not in way can perform, not in way supposed to?
I am quick to note a possible opinion I can perform. a favorite book! not a lie.  True Deceiver, say, think of bcs was on staff recommends.  and Lolly Willows too.    but what will I say?  I will have to make it up.  unless I say what?  True Deceiver I could read when things not making sense. when very sad.  bcs it is: this. this. this.  /d n say much about: why?  but at lst that is a real qstn.  .. real qstns is the best way I can do this?  as with Time for Everything.  Knaussgard.  What *is*this book?  What is in it?  What show is this, what kind of show, what is happening here?  what are the phenomena, incl what ppl say -- but to me are ppl saying wh I find in book (No, in that case.  they are saying the sort of thing ppl say, handed to you, 'encyclopedic treatment of angels', to the exclusion of saying much at all about what is in this book.  what do the words say.
and so, the issue is that that is 1) difficult.  to articulate.  and 2) not a recommendation, in the way *supposed* to present  ???

simpler ~ more to the point ~ I am afraid bcs not enthusiastic.  bcs lacking incentive, faith - for the books.  bcs am sad.  bcs d n think it matters, unless it matters to you.  and it hardly matters to me. to read it.    bcs am not hoping.  not hopeful.

km, why is this very hard for me? 


and so, could it be okay?  if my mind is not full of knowing, enthusiasm, here you go!
if that is not my deal.    
/what is sad in life is to not be yrslf.  not be true to. ~  actor Noel Fisher re his char Micky on Shameless coming out.     however I do agree with Micky, what makes ___ is me and you.  not what these assholes think.  "“Ian what you and I have, that makes me free. Not what these assholes know.”"     and wh Noel Fisher tweeted is not how I wld say, though maybe only bcs ~ too over-familiar. otherwise fine. 'true to one's self.'  I go to Hughes, TSE.  //


others do not have minds of my deal, cannot I be that and that be okay?  my deal ~ tabula rasa.  what is this.  associations.  tangents -  touching.  question.  standing in.   floats horse floats as.
or ?